Through one of my blogging buddies blogs (see the mini pics on the left), I found a contest to win a new Blogger Template! I'm hoping to update my blog site to be a bit brighter and lighter and have some nice features. Wish me luck - it's a random drawing, so I'm crossing my fingers. Some of the templates I like are:
What do you think?
Today I picked up my bike from Marty's Bike Shop. Two unfortunate incidents occurred last year that put the bike out of commission: flattening of the tires and an attempt to steal it. When it was stolen, it was ridden down the block and then dumped in a neighbor's yard because the tires were flat. Now there is a new wheel and it's tuned up and ready to go.
With my Cateye bike computer, I can keep track of ... my bike riding (as soon as I learn how to use it!). I also found a great site for logging everything I do: figuring out mileage of my rides, looking at maps - it works for walks and hikes, too. MapMyRide will even find riders in your area! It's almost as fun as riding! So far, I've been taking easy rides. Slight hills are work for me right now. Trips down the street to the drugstore, etc. are now made on my bike. I will save drops of gas by the gallon!
If you are thinking about or just want to read about riding, my inspiration came from Zen Habits: Commuting by Bike. (one of my favorite blogs). Happy Trails!
I'm working on my thoughts about the 30 Essential Truths according to Dr. Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, posted recently on Alex Blackwell's great blog The Next 45 Years. Some of them hit very close to home. This post is about the Fourth Truth. From Alex's blog:
4. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. For some, childhood was pleasant, almost idyllic. But for others, when there has been serious physical, sexual or emotional abuse it is important to recognize this and process this with a trained professional. No matter your past, change is the essence of life. In order to move forward in life we need to learn to live in the present.
This one hit closest to home for me. How long can a situation that existed 30 years ago haunt someone? Oh, about 30 years or so. A professional can guide the process of recognizing past traumas. To recognize is to identify the event(s). This is different than describing - most of us know what happened to us. In order to explain our past, we need to look at it through the eyes of an observer. Why? Because our vision is clouded by memories and stuck on rewind, playing the same tape over and over without alteration. There are many other facets and by looking at them, we start to break up our tape. Once the past is recognized, we are supposed to process it. (put it in the blender and hit whip)
Progress; passage: the process of time; events now in process. To gain an understanding or acceptance of; come to terms with: processed the traumatic event in therapy.
An example: Mom has schizoaffective and bipolar disorders. She has been hospitalized and medicated, received shock treatments and therapy, attempted suicide numerous times and spent days if not weeks in deep depression, locking herself in her room. We were kids. I was the oldest. Sometimes she was manic, staying up all night playing the piano or rearranging the furniture. On other manic occasions, she would go out drinking and playing cards (for money). I remember feeding her, calling an ambulance when (and only if) she was unconscious, having holiday meals in the psych ward, seeing her restrained with leather straps, trying to take care of the four of us kids when she couldn't and having babysitters, nannies and grandma come before I was old enough. I grew up picturing her funeral. Every day. For the next 30 years or so. My psychologist pointed out many things that never entered my mind such as mom being extremely manipulative. My dad would tell me that there was nothing I could do, releasing me from the burden of the responsibility I felt to make everything better. A self-help book said that people learn good coping skills (as well as poor) growing up in an unhealthy environment. When I began to hold on to ideas such as these, my mental recording that had been stuck on the previous description started to break up. Just when I noticed that I was feeling better....
After living on her own and being stabilized as much as possible, mom fell and eventually had to stay in a nursing home. When I go to see her, she is angry and says many of the things I heard as a child: you kids don't care about me; I don't want to live anymore; I'm in so much pain, etc. This took me back so fast, I physically felt the rush to the past. Only this time, I wasn't a child who didn't understand. Now I see much more and know that things will not change and that I should not feel guilty. What I know and what I feel are quite different. But this time, I know how to get help processing.
I ran across the 30 Essential Truths according to Dr. Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, on Alex Blackwell's great blog The Next 45 Years. Some of them hit very close to home. This post is about the Third Truth. From Alex's blog:
3. It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place. By nature, we are emotional creatures. Often we live and react based on feelings, not logic. Feelings are wonderful, but when we become tied to a particular thought or belief we tend to ignore the fact that change might be necessary. If a negative behavior is driven by an emotion, then we must find a way to still satisfy the emotional need while putting an end to the destructive behavior.
Have you ever had an idea, feeling, past hurt, resentment, envy or emotion that you just couldn't shake? Are you still mad about something? Is your reaction to an event or person different than the reaction of others? A very common example is former significant others. For example, because you hate/hated the fact that your ex did _________, you dislike anyone else who _________. Envy creates ideas that are not logical. My ex would not visit a BrandX gas station because I had had a boyfriend that owned a BrandX gas station. Now realize that we crossed the country a few times and he refused to stop and get gas there no matter what. That's an extreme example, but to test your logic, try it on someone else. Picture a friend having the same negative behavior that you experience based on your logic. Seems silly, doesn't it?
But how do we satisfy the emotional need that drives this thought or belief? First, identify the original event. What feeling or thought is tied to this event? What caused these ideas? Let's say the event was a perceived slight and the feelings are embarrassment and hurt. What emotional needs drive those feelings? A need for self-esteem, comfort and understanding. How can these needs be fulfilled in order to remove this idea? Identifying requirements that satisfy these needs varies from individual to individual, but an example will help:
Leave a comment on how you've overcome a negative thought or behavior! I would love to hear from you!
The Stow-Munroe Falls Public Library's Children's Department has been nominated for TWO Parents Picks awards: Best little kids Public Library and best big kids Public Library. Here's the info:
What does it all mean? Well, from May 19 - June 30, your business--along with all of the other ParentsConnect.com Parents' Picks Nominees--will be featured as our "top picks". All of our members will be encouraged to vote to determine who wins the official Parents Picks Awards! Visit ParentsConnect.com/ParentsPicks and select a city to see a list of the nominees.
Not only do we have a great library, but our online resources are great too. Visit the SMFPL website and check out the Children's Department! Go to ParentsConnect.com and vote - I did and so far the results show SMPFL in the lead!!
Our French Bulldog Mattie is our baby. She follows us around, sleeps with us and loves us a lot. Frenchies are ugly to the point of cute and are often mistaken for pugs for those who are not familiar with the breed. Here's a look at the colors: First is Mattie, who is brindle, then a black/white frenchie, fawn, and white.
French Bulldogs are becoming more well-known. Martha Stewart has had hers on her show and the cover of magazines. A white frenchie costarred appeared in the movie Secondhand Lions(which I highly recommend not for that reason alone). Patty Hearst's (yes, that Patty Hearst) Frenchie won Best of Breed in 2008.
No offense to French Bulldogs or the AKC, but Mattie is not very intelligent nor a good watchdog. She has a very limited number of things she can do and things that she knows. She will bark at unfamiliar sounds, but make fast friends with anyone who speaks kindly and will pet her. If you are thinking about adding a Frenchie to your family, please use the links in this post to see if they are for you. If so, congratulations! you are about to own one of the most cute, funny and friendly dogs. They are great lap dogs, love to play and go for walks and/or nap whenever you do - in fact, Mattie will insist on a nap if I am home during the day.
